New Years resolutions never turned out well for me. until I learned a principal that works and set me free. No more fear of failure or regrets from being weak. The answer lies in just nine words. Here, friend, is my technique: “If you don’t make ‘em… you can't...
Humor Poems
Smart Phones
I’m wondering if it is known who first used the term, “Smartphone”. Smart, may be the case for some. but my smart phone is really dumb. It always makes me take a look at all the posts found on Facebook. And then it forces me to play games that take my day away....
One Mouth
We have TWO eyes that we may see. TWO ears that we may listen. ONE mouth; So use it half as much and see what you’ve been missin’.
Losing It
I’m losing hair. I’m losing teeth and bits of memory. I lost my wallet yesterday. Today it’s my car key. I’ve lost much of my hearing My eyesight’s getting poor. I often lose my balance and end up on the floor. The effects of growing older, I’ve learned...
A Fathers Act Of Bravery
My heart is beating rapidly, my clothes are soaked in sweat. If there’s anything that I fear more, I haven’t found it yet. I am terrified and shaking and wish that I could run, but know there is no backing out. if victory’s to be won. There’s one with...
Crazy Woman
Away from home on business and at the end of day, I checked into a small hotel somewhere along the way. While lying there in bed in the middle of the night, I heard a crazy woman screaming out with all her might. “Open up this door”! She yelled...
How Yogurt Got It’s Name
There was a girl named Gurtie, who wasn’t very purdy. An Italian girl who weighed a half a ton. She ate ice cream every day, so the boys all stayed away and she asked, “what can I do to catch me one? Well, her dad was pretty smart, and loved his fat...
All Who Enter
All who come into our home. bring joy beyond a doubt. Some as they walk in the door, …and some as they walk out.
Hahaidis
I went to see my doctor. I was having laughing spells. He said, “It’s ha-ha idis, and can’t be cured with pills.” He told me to go home, get some rest and stay in bed. He said it’s quite contagious and can easily be spread. As I was driving home I...
Horse And Steel Guitar
I see you up there in the window as you’re looking down at me. I’m singing a beautiful love song while kneeling on one knee. My faithful horse is at my side. My steel guitar is in tune. The sky is clear, the stars are bright and there’s a big full moon. ...